Latest Blog Posts

What I was ACTUALLY afraid of

In Islam, there is a balance of hope and fear.  hope for paradise, and fear of hellfire.  And the classical scholars mentioned that this should be in balance pretty much consistently. Okay, so I took this and shaitan took me to such deep abyss’s that I finally now am realizing what the issue is.  The [...]


Shaitanic tafseer

Ever since I have been dealing with this jinn problem, I have experienced close up how evil a creature this is.  How much of an enemy he is to us.  I now realize how he was the cause behind me developing my unhealthy beliefs which paved the way to anxiety disorder and then further agony [...]


Feeling Worthless and Your Rabb

At the heart of our psychological issues is feelings of worthlessness.  Lacking self confidence and esteem.  It forms the root of most psychological disorders that I know of and experience. Just because we are muslim, does not automatically absolve us of these feelings of worthlessness, just like any other faulty beliefs people could have in [...]

shaitanic whispers

From Anxiety Disorder to Jinn Possesion – A step below

If you type in وسواس القهري (waswaas al qahri) in google, you will come up with OCD from wikipedia. Waswaas Al-Qahri is an arabic term meaning: “uncontrollable whispers”  It’s mostly attributed to shaitan, the main whisperer. Are they synonymous?  Well there are definitely parallels.  In both cases it was the one behind our developing ocd [...]


A letter to myself about Why Rahman cares about me.

  Why Rahman cares about you. September 20, 2014   بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I write this letter from someone who is understanding Rahman, to my other half, the despairing half, in case he needs a reminder when the going gets tough.  I write you from a better place.  After seeing how you so awfully [...]

Broken Chain

Dealing with your weaknesses

One of the major issues I deal with as a perfectionist is admitting to and dealing with shortcomings and weaknesses I have.  I am terrified of admitting to and letting anybody know about my weaknesses, even my ownself.  I have always wanted to forget about them, and to push them away and to pretend they’re [...]

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“Believing” with Anxiety disorder

One of the most difficult aspects to deal with when having anxiety disorder is whether I “believe” in Islam properly or not.  Of course this may not be everybody’s problem who is suffering from anxiety problems, but for sure it is devastating when are facing it. Why do we feel we don’t believe properly?  I [...]