It’s funny that many of us with anxiety issues often times feel that Allah is pushing us away from Him. Or Allah just wants to punish us with anxiety and stress because He doesn’t care about us. I know at least I have dealt with these feelings before.
But we have to examine this belief in greater detail. Why is it that we feel this way? Why is it that when we weren’t feeling anxiety, we didn’t that Allah is pushing us away. I remember I had a Christian Counsellor who was a specialist in anxiety. He mentioned the same feelings too. He said that, “When I had anxiety, I felt as if God wasn’t listening to my prayers.” I think it’s important to try to list some of the reasons why we suffering with anxiety and stress may feel this.
- Most people suffering with anxiety disorder have at the root of their beliefs a low self esteem. Coming with low self esteem is the feeling that nobody cares about you. So this translates over to your relationship with Allah. And you develop the idea that Allah doesn’t care about you and wants to push you away.
- When you strongly believe that Allah doesn’t care about you, that belief in and of itself would decrease your iman and make you feel more distant from Allah. This is partly because it is completely opposite to the meaning of Al-Rahman, of the many meanings of which are that He cares and loves you. This is also because there are ayat and hadiths that mention Allah wanting you to come closer to Him, and that He comes closer to you. So when you believe the opposite to what is found in the Quran and the Sunnah, naturally your iman would decrease.
وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ ۖ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ
When my servants ask you about me, then for sure, I am near. I answer the du’a of those whenever they make du’a to me. 2:186
- With anxiety disorder, the more you stress and worry, the worse you feel. Relaxation and Tranquility is the primary antidote for anxiety disorder. So when you are constantly worrying about why Allah keeps pushing you away, then that worry and stress you is adding to your awful feelings and condition. It makes you feel worse, and you therefore conclude, that you are trying so hard to come closer to Allah, and you feel like you are being pushed away.
- A very tough symptom of anxiety disorders is something known as depersonalisation. this is a phenomenon where you feel disconnected from reality, as if you aren’t even living your own life, that you somehow feel like you’re no longer yourself. You feel confused about what you believe, and are in a state of confusion. This phenomenon also comes with it a feeling of loneliness, as if you’ve been abandoned. These feelings may make it seem like that Allah has abandoned you and is not caring or being there for you. Thus you conclude that Allah sent down anxiety disorder to you because He doesn’t care about you and wants you to suffer.
Of course these are my own personal reflections based on experience with these core beliefs. There maybe other reasons not mentioned here that you may want to add in the comments section.