The famous scholar Sufyan Al-Thawri made a very insightful statement,
ما رأيت أشد علي من نيتي أنها تتقلب علي
I never found anything more difficult upon me than my intention, how it always changes on me.”
Sincerity is one of the keys to worship and getting closer to Allah. Without close introspection of our own hearts, and what truly motivates us to do and say the things we do, in general we wont be able to achieve the true and complete sincerity to Our Creator. May Allah make us completely sincere in all our actions! Ameen.
Sometimes, we don’t even know why we are feeling the way we do; why we are anxious or stressed in certain situations. It remains a mystery to us. I remember at the beginning of my anxiety struggles, I was completely confused as to why I was feeling anxious, or angry. After years of self introspection however, things have been clearing up and it now has become easier to uncover the true motives and beliefs in my heart fueling my anxiety.
For example, when I pick up my book in Islamic studies, I feel a sense of stress in my chest tightening up, and anxiety. I try and actively make my intention for Allah and Paradise, and try to envision that, but then the secret dark motive creeps back in, leaving me uneasy and uptight.
This makes me have to pause for a while to dig deep inside, to figure out why Im worrying and feeling anxious. I find out what I REALLY feel and what REALLY motivates me to study. Wanna know what it is? In a future post insha’Allah!
An interesting thing that happens is, when I am able to get to the bottom of my belief, a sense of relief comes out. Yes! A stress relief! Why? I think it may be due to me letting go connecting with my true self, what i really feel inside. Its like giving up an internal struggle that always generates pressure inside. Lesson here, being truthful to yourself is a potential stress relief.