بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
This post is a tough one to write in the midst of my issues. But I had a bought of inspiration, so I thought I may try to crank it out now.
I am having incredible difficulty with hellfire, punishments, and sins these days. I crazy difficult time. A difficulty and agony I have never experienced before. It has made my attitude extremely bitter and upset, and negatively tarnished my faith in the beautiful names of Allah, especially the Names of Al-Rahman (The Most Compassionate) , and Al-Hakam (The Extremely Fair Judge).
I was sitting with my friend in the masjid, and we read some Quran together. My emotional state was suffice it to say terrible until the end when some peace normalcy started to come in.
We chatted about it afterwards. But of course the first thing he mentioned was how amazing my recitation of Quran is! Go figure. I have a terrible emotional heart state ever, but boy oh boy can I recite some beautiful Quran! It kind of cracks me up thinking about it.
Anyways, so we were discussing how my emotional reactions are to how my friend interprets the same verses. And the difference is black and white.
مَنْ جَاءَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ فَلَهُ خَيْرٌ مِنْهَا وَهُمْ مِنْ فَزَعٍ يَوْمَئِذٍ آمِنُونَ ( 89 ) وَمَنْ جَاءَ بِالسَّيِّئَةِ فَكُبَّتْ وُجُوهُهُمْ فِي النَّارِ هَلْ تُجْزَوْنَ إِلا مَا كُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ ( 90 ) .
Black (my interpretation): Any ayat of punishment (Hey that’s not fair, it’s not fair to punish them!) Arghh…. People who sin are thrown on their faces in hellfire. Oh how awful is that…….
White (friend’s interpretation): It’s purely justice and mercy. Look at how Allah the Most Merciful, is clearly spelling out the way for us. He’s saying so clearly that people who want to do good, they will get even better than that, and they will be saved from all the terrors and bad scenes on that day. And then he keeps on repeating and repeating because out of mercy and compassion he wants you not to go down that path, of corruption. Just like you as a father, when telling your son to not go to that dangerous place, you keep on repeating and repeating and repeating to not go there. And you have to threaten that you will do something in a harsh language if your son still doesn’t listen and still goes there.
Hmm. Quite a different interpretation. I see it as merciless and condemning, because I’m falling into that path, and my friend sees it only as fairness and compassion, because he cares so much to spell out for you the correct ways to success, and avoid the wrong ways. Because he wants to see you succeed. He provides you with all the tools to succeed and for success.
Then we discussed some other interpretations, like characteristics of the disbelievers.
يحسبون كل صيحة عليهم
They (Hypocrite) think every cry is against them.
Black: “Oh great, Thanks God. He’s condemning me. God’s calling me a hypocrite because I have that characteristic. And Hypocrites are in the lowest depths of hellfire, how awful and depressing is that.”
White: “Out of mercy, God is giving us the qualities and characteristics that if you can work to get rid of. For example, if I have the characteristic that I lie, and that is a characteristic of the hypocrites, then I will spend maybe 40 days trying to rid myself of that characteristic.”
Very staunch differences in our interpretations indeed