It has felt like reaching a level of yaqeen (certainty) in Islam, Allah, and the Day of Judgment is a formidable task.
I have been struggling with this, trying my utmost to believe in my heart, without a shadow of a doubt to the truthfulness of this religion of Islam.
I see so many scholars and speakers speaking with this strong yaqeen, that I wished I had it.
I am trying everything, praying, doing the good deeds, avoiding the evil, etc. etc. to the best of my capacity. But what is that missing link?
I have stumbled upon a potential emotional issue that may in fact be key to developing the solid belief in the heart:
Something bad happened to us when we were young. We were deeply hurt by it. We didn’t know what to do with how we felt. We didn’t know who to turn to. It became sedated and sedimented in our hearts. We accepted it as an unchangeable part of our lives. We felt that it maybe was unfair what happened to us, yet we moved on with those negative sentiments.
Inside, there was something we covered up, we never resolved, we still feel the hurt and pain, and never came to terms with. We just thought that by continuing on through life, ignoring and covering it up, it would go away and we could live our lives just fine..
So wrong! It is clear to me that that this approach will never lead us to a pure and healthy heart.
يوم لا ينفع مال و لا بنون إلا من أتى الله بقلب سليم
The day that neither wealth nor children will benefit, except the one who comes to Allah with a healthy heart. (Shu’ara)
When we feel hurt, and it’s never resolved, what happens is, it is just stuck inside the heart. And whether you remember it or not consciously, it remains in there, causing pent up emotions and reactions according to different events that occur in our life. We may be confused as to why we feel the way we do in many situations, and that is because of this unresolved emotional rift that affected our delicate hearts earlier on in life.
It could be that the hurt we covered up in our hearts in some way is the barrier between us and those heights of iman and yaqeen that we so desperately want to achieve.
Let’s bring out that hurt and turn to Our Sustainer and Cherisher, and ask Him to help us mend and heal our broken and traumatized hearts.