In a world where different people are demanding different things from you, it ends up being stressful. Especially for the people pleaser, who always wants to make people happy, by saying or doing those things that does the trick. Anxiety surfaces when the people pleaser may be doing something others dont like, even in acts of worship, like prayer.
What if you are trying desperately to make someone happy, but they still don’t like you or appreciate your efforts, or maybe even look down on you for doing it. What happens? Anxiety surge, “what did I do wrong? I just was trying to be nice to her…. “. Then feeling very nervous with them.
Time to take the edge off of our stress with some good ole ikhlas (sincerity). Forget all the desires and preferences of those around you, and focus on serving only for trying to please Allah, and just to see His face, pleased with us. And only serve others because you are actually just doing it to serve Allah. The anxieties with trying to please and meet others expectations, will melt away and pale in comparison to an act with nobody but Allah’s pleasure as the motive.
If you want to be yourself with others and yourself, be a sincere slave to Allah. Your true uncovered personality at your heart will come out because you are dealing with the One who knows you very intimately well, inside and out, and he knows your thoughts, emotions, and feelings
When you are afraid of upsetting people, you lose your sense of genuineness with them, and you come off as being reserved or hiding your true self inside. Even if you try to make them happy, your intention of fear is spelled right out to them.
May Allah make us sincere servants to Him alone, and please ONLY Him. Ameen.