بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Anxiety and Scrupulosity is deficient in one major area. Belief in Rahman. There’s a newsflash that I want to send to myself and all of my friends here in the community and other readers. We are worshipping The Most Compassionate. That is who we are enslaving ourselves to. The Most Compassionate. The Most Loving. The Most Forgiving. All those good qualities we love about people, He is the source of it all.
The whole reason we are doing what we are doing as far as worship and our affiliation with Islam, is the fact that we are worshipping this Amazing, Loving, Compassionate Creator. That’s the whole reason why we are obeying him and doing what he tells us to do, and avoiding what he doesn’t want us to do. Because of this realization that we are enslaved to the Most Compassionate.
I don’t want to be enslaved anymore to His legislation. To His do’s and don’ts. To the halal and haram. To be constantly worried and paranoia about any little thing that might not be permissible. and being so overly focused and stressed out about it, and constantly feeling disabled and disgusting in my religion over it. This type of approach is not religion. It is disgusting overburdening and a recipte to hate Islam and hate the legislation and deny it and leave it all together. (أعوذ بالله). It is despair and agony, and the worst possible life you could ever imagine.
We are not enslaved to Halal and Haram. We are not supposed to be made to feel conditionally acceptable to Allah if we do or do not do. We are NOT enslaved to DO’S AND DON’TS. We are enslaved to the Most Loving, the Most Compassionate, The One who has reserved 99 parts of Rahmah for the Day of Judgment.
This realization has given me such peace in my heart, where I’m feeling Rahmah descending into my heart, quelling out the terrible stresses and anxieties from punishment obsessions. Where I’m seeing all around me the manifestations of Rahmah. It changes your bleak perspective and intellect, if the belief in Rahmah enters your heart. How blissful and peaceful and relieving it is to know who you are worshipping. The source of love, care, and compassion.
Ever heard the Christian expression that “God is Love“? Well, believe it or not, there is truth to this idea, even in Islam. The essence of Allah is Compassion and Love. This is His primary attribute, and early scholars from the salaf have even mentioned that this is Allah’s greatest name. The name, Rahman, used before every single chapter of the Quran.
So the huge calamity that befalls those who have fallen into anxiety, despair, and scrupulosity, is that they are not worshipping Rahman. They (unintentionally) deny the fundamental essence of Allah, which is Rahmah and Compassion. In essence, what we as the scrupulous are doing is negating the essence of Allah. What essence? That “God is Love.” That God is full of Rahmah. That His Rahmah is all around us. It is like rejecting Allah altogether, because Allah said He is the Source of Love & Compassion. And it is all around us in the creation. So it’s as if there is a complete nullification of the essence of God himself. And no wonder why we the scrupulous are suffering so badly with stress in religion, because we are obsessed with hellfire and punishment, and not being enslaved to the Most Compassionate.
It is an absolute necessity to be enslaved to and believe in Rahman, the Soruce of all compassion and love. And to believe with a full heart that you are loved and taken care of, and valued for who you are, by the Most Loving. Don’t get it twisted, that just because the Christians say, “God is Love,” that means you’re deviant if you say the same thing. No. It is a requirement to believe that God is Love, meaning the essence of God is Love and Compassion. And He is أرحم الراحيمين (The Most Compassionate of the compassionate).
Just do me a favor and take my word on this, and see how it may improve your mood. Why just yesterday, I was feeling on the bring of giving up my life and religion, feeling so incredibly awful and stressed, and losing sleep over stupid punishments and feeling this religion is so difficult and harsh, that I was barely able to pray and wnated to give it up altogether. Then something clicked and my tranquility started coming back, in reading, and this idea of Rahman started entering my heart, and peace and love start becoming prominent.